I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
