plz talk dirty to me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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