if i can run in heels then i can drive
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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