South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
