Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
