its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
