He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
