sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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