in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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