What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
