At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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