i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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