Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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