You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im holly from the hills drunk
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
