I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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