Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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