my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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