It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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