Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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