I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
