Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
