I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
did you just send me my own nude
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
