Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
