Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
