Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
its not stalking. its research.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
