He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
