We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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