Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
