so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
