Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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