Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
