there was a trapeze. enough said
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
