Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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