I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize