new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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