my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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