now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
