Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
