i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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