But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is wine microwaveable?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm too high and old for this...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
