they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
