Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
