How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
