I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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