I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
