He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize