I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
