Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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