My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize