If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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