apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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