Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
