I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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