dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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