i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm bleeding and have questions
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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