i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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