dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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