just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
3 2 1 whiskey
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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