Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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