if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
